My back just cursed me a new one. She aches--but that is really one of the side effects of being a woman at this time of the month--TMI? Sorry. However, I press on.
Tonight my instructor did an excellent class which concentrated on the core, back and upper body. Feels great :). Tomorrow is boot camp #2 and I am looking forward to it. BTW I am not even tempted to go eat KFC *lies* the craving was not even there *bullsh!t*. Craving currant slices? Pssht *drool* . I am over those cravings *watching out for that stray lightning bolt*.
It has been hard to say no but it is worth it. I also went back to one of my defaults-water. It works for now. I also treat myself to my favourite nutri-grain yogurt bars--do NOT tell me ANYTHING about those bars. They may not be the healthiest BUT I LOVE THEM. ALLOW ME THAT PLEASE *sniff sniff*.
Update......
My dress making class has begun :). I will be learning how to cut a pattern :). I am excited yet a bit nervous. I chose 2 lovely colours. Green and purple. I am not really a fan of purple, but the style will compliment the colour and I am hoping I could really crank this out and continue to improve. I won't become some international stylist BUT being able to create your own style and one that is unique and expresses who you are is awesome as well.
Ponderings.......
Something keeps running through my thoughts. What are you certain about in life? During my first break from school since I was 4 years old, I began to ask myself about my purpose in life. You know that age old question--What is my purpose? What was I meant to do--blah blah. Yes that.
But if you really think about it--what are we sure about in this life? Are you certain that the way you envisioned your life is the way it really will turn out?
I remember growing up I wanted to be so many different things. I went through wanting to be a video store sales clerk because I liked to scan the tapes through :). It excited me to paint my nails and show them off as I checked tapes (shame). I just showed my age! Am I the only one who use to rent tapes from the video store? The one that you could use a pencil to rewind? VHS tapes? ahahhaha
I then wanted to be a rapper. HAHAHAHA. I can remember it like yesterday taping songs on our small boom box during the summer and writing songs with my sister and cousins. Gosh! We were ready to move out to Atlanta to rap for Jermaine Dupris--don't judge me.
There was the phase I wanted to be a judge, a writer, a teacher, an actress, dancer, a journalist, magazine publisher.....you get my drift. My interests changed over the years. Or so I thought. I did in fact become a journalist/television producer, I did become a teacher-a pretty good one too. I had to give up the idea of becoming a dancer-bad back. My writing was being stifled and I did not want to not be able to freely express myself. There is no money in acting-wrong body type wrong look. As for a judge--I still want to be one.
I guess by process of elimination my area of study kinda stumbled upon me. I had to think about what it was I loved to do. My personality. What made me happy....
Call me a jane of all trades--master of none. I can do anything that I put my mind/hand to. I have always been like that. A chameleon of sorts. However-few things remained constant in my mind. I want to help people. I believe I have the ability to relate to anyone from any walk of life. I genuinely care about people and they see that in me. I can get people to trust me and open up to me about most things they would not tell anyone else. I'm not gloating--just being honest. I went to University in 2003 to become a television producer/journalist. I thought that was what I wanted to be, until I met Dr. Christine Cummings, Senior Lecturer at Mona Campus in Jamaica-University of the West Indies. She told me after one of our many chats that she believed I could do more than be behind a camera. she believed that I had the ability and that I needed to stop doubting myself. It was there she told me to apply for the Faculty of Law. I almost LAUGHED. However, I thought, if she could see something in me-why could I not fake it till I believed it too. I was unhappy, bored and unmotivated to continue in media.
I was so unsure about everything and I did not want to waste my parents' money and not finish.
This is why the whole issue of "Am I certain about what I am doing?"has been staying on my mind lately. Isn't it scary to be unsure?
Are we afraid to change course? Are you going to keep doing something that you do not like just to please your family?
I am not certain about many things in this life. The only thing however, I am certain about is that I want to leave a legacy of some sort in this life. I am not sure how I will do that. If it is through my chosen field or in some other way. I do know however that I love law. I love studying it. I love it. It brings me joy to read cases. I get excited about new developments. It has completely changed my life-positively and negatively. It has also brought to the lowest points in my life and the highest. Law is the jealous lover that I try to satisfy (whoa). But it is true. I am not certain that I will end up doing it as a career--but for right now I have to think that it is what I hope the Lord has ordained for me. I pray it is. So far it seems to be that. (So everyone can stop asking me if I am done with law now--thanks).
So my question is--what are you certain about in this life? Or can you ever be certain?
Ahem this is a weightloss blog....
So ye!
I have not weighed for a little bit. Will do that probably next week when I am less bloated and less water retaining. Keep up with me! I am trying my hardest to be a good girl when it comes to eating. Sigh......
Stay blessed
KKA
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